Let’s Be Real, Adult Friendships Are Hard

This seems like a weird thing to be writing about. I mean who doesn’t have friends? I guess that isn’t really the point of the post. The point is how difficult they are to maintain. But I think I’m getting ahead of myself. This whole post is sparking from a podcast I listened to where Jenna Kutcher talked about maintaining female friendships as an adult. It was very insightful and eye opening to realize that I’m not the only one who thinks friendships after college are hard.

When you’re in college it’s easy to make and maintain friendships. You’re around these people every week, many times a week, doing similar things. You can talk about your professors or the assignment you didn’t do. On top of that, there’s a good chance when you’re in college you don’t have a ton of responsibilities. You have time to hang out and foster those friendships. A quick road trip to Sedona? Sure! Go to a bar on a Thursday? Why not! It’s easy to find time to connect with people.

But now we’re out of college and wow. It’s different. Suddenly those friendships that were so easy and accessible now require work. You have to plan around each others schedules and make an effort to go out after you get home from your 9-5. It’s hard. It really makes you reconsider a lot of friendships. And I did that. Almost a year out of college and I have a very close group of friends. And these friends were hand selected; meaning I didn’t just hang out with them because it was easy, I hang out with them because I want to. I guess that’s the main difference between friends in school and adult-life friends: school friends are easy and adult friends require work & commitment. Quality over Quantity. 

But now I find myself in this spot of: where are you supposed to meet new people? Work? That’s about it. I’m lucky in the fact that the people I work with are freaking bomb and I love them and we hang out all the time. But what if I didn’t like them? Would I just be chained to my few friends that I maintained after college? And what if one of them stops maintaining me?

I’m going to admit that I wrote the majority of this blog post months ago when I was struggling with adulthood and my friendships. Amazingly now, months later, I’m more content with my friends and have invested more into my important friendships. The question still remains, how do you make new friends? The answer I’ve found has been what grown-ups call “networking” meaning you go to a gathering where other people in your industry or area of interest are getting together and you all talk. Groundbreaking. 

I’ve enjoyed going to a lot of the female lead groups like Hustle Hunnies and the Dames Collective. I don’t perfectly connect with every girl there but it is nice to have those more casual friendships and to connect with like-minded gals.

If you have tips on making friends, let a girl know.